Inner Goddess: Life Choices

I was talking to my best friend the other day about how decisions used to be so easy for me when I was younger. I could make simple day-to-day decisions and enjoyed every minute of my life it seemed. When did I start questioning every single thing, every minute of every day? When did deciding how I was going to have my coffee (with cream, no cream, caramel??) and if I should do laundry first or my dishes become such weighted decisions? 

I know hind-sight is definitely not 20/20, but over time there has been a shift towards heaviness in all my decision-making processes. I'm not sure if this is a part of growing up and taking on more and more responsibilities, I know for sure I was doing this before my one-year-old Lani Luna was born. What is the evolutionary purpose of it all? The fitness purpose? 

The great news is that underneath all these layers I’ve built around myself -protecting myself, making my life safer, more predictable- is this inner core, my inner goddess. That inner version of myself that allows me to choose freely and openly with confidence, while keeping all my responsibilities in line is still there. The reality is it is always there, that solidity, that inner knowledge of what is right, and the freedom to live vibrantly and freely. 

In the second sutra of the yoga sutras, Patanjali states, yogash-citta-vritti-nirodhah. Yoga is the cessation of the fluctuations of the mind. We all have the inner ability to stop the endless mind chatter that questions every mundane decision that we have to make. I practice yoga, the physical asana, with my breath so that I teach my mind-body to remain in the present, to allow myself to choose my path naturally in the direction that I choose, without allowing it to get so heavy. I practice yoga so that I respond, rather than react, from that inner goddess space, to the simple day-to-day choices that we all have to make every day. I practice yoga so that I can choose light over heavy.